You’re probably wondering where the hell I’ve been… Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t really have an exciting answer. I haven’t been exploring any far-off cities or been abducted by aliens, and trust me when I say that I’m just as let down as you are to hear that (mostly the first part).
In a nutshell, my priorities basically began to shift at the end of last year, and unfortunately that meant that the blog was put on an indefinite and abrupt hiatus. So abrupt, that I even had this post drafted since January and am just now putting it up, halfway through the year.
Believe it or not, I even have multiple videos recorded, pictures taken, and series started that all went unfinished this past year; not the best note to end 2016 on, let me tell you. I have all of this content and these ideas, but when it came to putting them out there and going through the editing process I found I lacked two key things.
The first, is time. When I started this blog, I was in a tough spot in my life. I wasn’t feeling motivated in school, didn’t feel creatively stimulated, and didn’t have many places to be on Saturday nights (unless you count my relationship with Netflix), which ultimately led me to channeling those frustrations through this outlet. However, school has now started to become more challenging, classes have sparked my creativity again, and I have made friends who keep my weekends booked. Between all that, two part-time jobs, and running a club, it hasn’t left my schedule all that free. This past semester, I also picked up tutoring, which added even more stickies and notes to my ever-full planner. I am simultaneously grateful and overwhelmed by all of these amazing opportunities, but like I’ve mentioned before, they don’t leave much time for blogging.
As I also touched on before, last year changed me; and I’d like to think for the better, despite being a bad blogger in 2016. This is the second thing that I believe has held me back from creating content. This past year was an emotional roller coaster, where the high points were high, but at the same time, the low points were quite low. I lost loved ones, but was given new family members. I celebrated my 21st birthday while grieving my aunt, on the same day. People who I thought would remain close left, but made room for people who stayed. I lost a job, but gained another— two, in fact. A certain presidential election sparked a call to action within me. It truly was a transformative year. Someone (who I don’t particularly condone) said that 2016 was the year of “realizing things.” And through all of that, I realized that my blog was no longer a true reflection of me and until I figured that out, I just couldn’t create something that didn’t represent me.
So, I set my intention for 2017. I truly wanted to dedicate this year to myself. I wanted to commit to finding out who I am as an entire being. Instead of segmenting myself between my many facets of life, I want to be authentic to all the parts of me in all areas I journey. I want to ground myself in what I discover is important to me. I want to tap into my intuition and listen to myself more. I want to dedicate more time to self-care. I want to figure out, set, and achieve my goals. And now, six months later I think I’ve just about gotten a handle on those things.
They say your 20s are your selfish years, and I realized that it’s time to take my opportunity to do just that. I think it is important to use this time and get to know me a little bit better. I know that I’ll never have it all figured out, but I feel like one of the mistakes I constantly make is to give more than I should. And although you should never put your own wants above the needs of others, you should still put the needs of yourself above the wants of others. You can’t please everyone, but you should please you. You have to live with yourself for the rest of your life. Knowing this, I believe it is crucial to invest some time in myself right now.
This investment is one that has unfortunately taken time and focus away from my blog, but with good intention. It allowed me to come back to you all a fresh perspective, gained insight, and a stronger sense of self who can create even better content. This isn’t a decision I’ve taken lightly, please believe me. And while there’s still an ongoing amount of discovery to be made, I now feel confident enough to finally return here— my home-base.
So, through the big changes (I chopped off my hair!) and the small breakthroughs (like finding a new passion for web design and rediscovering my love for Doritos— yes, seriously), I’m ready to face the remainder of 2017 with resilience and refreshment. I’ve accomplished some goals*, and now I believe it’s time to set some new ones:
My goal is to create as much content as I can over the summer, because I can only promise for now. I have another hectic semester ahead of me, but for the meantime I hope to show you how much I’ve grown from this impromptu hiatus. I’m excited to FINALLY be back (for real this time)! Thanks for all your patience as I’m still figuring out how to do this thing called life.
All my love,
Ps: Special shoutout to my girl gang who came through with these bomb photos! ILY ❤️
*Speaking of, here’s a quick update on how I did on last year’s resolutions:
- Healthier Lifestyle– I drank more juices and ate breakfasts a bit more frequently for the first couple of months. In March, I picked up the 30 Day Yoga Challenge by @yogawithadriene (which I am considering doing again this month). I dropped the ball during the past summer, but picked up exercise classes in the fall. Overall, I toned up a bit, but this year I’ve joined a gym and began eating as healthy as possible, 75% of the time.
- Upgrade my Camera– I invested in a Sony a5500 which has been great for Instagrams and videos and even blog posts. I haven’t upgraded my DSLR, but I think with this camera I might not need to…maybe.
- Be Present & Grow My Social Media- For a while, I was really good about engagement and replying to comments. Now, with all the new algorithm changes and time shortage I find it hard to be consistent. Social media takes a lot of extra dedication that I unfortunately couldn’t make in the last few months.
- Save Some Damn Money– LOL. It’s gotten a bit better…
- Create More- I started a few sketches, imagined a few paintings, and shot a lot of polaroids, but didn’t create as much as I wanted to. I’ll work on it.
- Read More- I said I wanted to read 5 books in 2016. I started 5 books, but have yet to finish them.
- Donate My Hair- Check! Twelve inches are going to Pantene Beautiful Lengths. At least there’s one…